Existence and Bliss

I wake up on a cold misty morning. Its drizzling outside. I shiver and get out of my sheets. The motion disturbs you and you instinctively put your arms around me. Don't go, they say. I'm only too happy to oblige.

I wake up to the aroma of filter coffee. As my blurry vision clears, I see that its drizzling outside. The sun is not fully awake yet. I take a mug of coffee and sit by your side on the porch. The hills. The grass. The birds . And you. Silence speaks more than words ever can.

Its a warm, lazy afternoon. One of those times when time seems to stand still and timeless works are meant to be savoured. Read to me she says. I do. The words of Tagore hold us both in rapture.

In the evening it rains again. The clouds conspire to keep us indoors. I stand watching her. She is lost in a world where only sound exists. Her hands slide effortlessly along the neck of the veena, producing sublime strains of music. Occasionally, she breaks into song. A concert for a sole, ardent admirer. I close my eyes and listen.

The rays of the sun bid one final goodbye as twilight turns to dusk. The cool rays of the moon bathe us in soft light. We walk, silhouettes in the near darkness. Whispered conversations. Laughter . We walk.


Thanks for the Inspiration :)

Under a Moonlit Sky - Conversations Between Krishna and Meera

Krishna: This painting. It  has so much to say. Who is she, Meera?

Meera: She? She is.. sensuous. She is poetic. She is lyrical. She is a dreamer. In an existential trance, she breathes romance. Paris. That is Paris pour elle. Amorous and vintage. Sitting there on satin sheets on an antique brass cot with a red rose in her hand, she feels intoxicated. But, it is neither the Cabernet red wine nor the breathtaking view of the city.  She is overwhelmed. By him. That man. The one. The one who couldn’t stand to accept the daily demonstrative love she felt in herself, and give back as good as she gave. So she sits there. Being sensuous. Being romantic. Seeking passion. Seeking some sort of counterintuitive romance in love.

Krishna: What happens when he comprehends? Some day. The depth of what he left behind. What if he longs for it? What if his hours are filled with yearnings? A yearning for what he once had only indifference and passiveness?  A yearning for homecoming.. into those very arms, in that very place, for that very hour?  What if his entire subsequent life has been a road leading down to that one end? To the beginning. What if he realises what he had always sought for was what he once had? Will his quest be futile? Will his passage be denied?

What will she say? Will she say nothing? Will she say it at all? Will she wait till the  moment passes, the light fades and the possibilities vanish?  

Meera: She would take a deep breath and tell him, “Look just a little too hard at me. Stand just a little too close to me. Let’s go back and replay all our scenes. Did we ever really share? Did we just soliloquize? Was I ever really there? If I leave this sheltered space, will anything be there? A place in time still belongs to us. So, I will wait in my cage for you. You'll see a side of love you've never known.”

Krishna: Some things never change, do they Meera?. Even with the passing of years.  Some things sadly do. He would have meant much to her once. Even after all these years he still seems to mean something to her. Did he take her world by storm? Was he the fulcrum around which her life revolved?  What did he represent to her? What did he give her?  What did he take with him when he left?

Meera: He had given her exactly what she had been meandering about looking for, that he was, at once, both the point and the purpose of her life, that he was, gloriously, it seemed to her, the answer! She wanted to believe in him, in his ability to transform her life for her, corral all those wild yearnings in her into something less wasteful, give her not just an appetite for the passion, but an exciting idea of it. She might be growing increasingly frustrated at his evasiveness about the romance she had in mind, hardening into a refusal to talk about it at all, but she still could not bring herself to walk away, to step bravely out into a life without him for the simple reason that such a life seemed too bleak and pointless even to contemplate. And now, when he finally comes along, is it sane to leave him with a half- hearted goodbye?

Krishna: I wonder.. Is it sane? Or are some doors closed forever? Do we outgrow certain people? Do we change, ever so gradually, until the love we had is just a mere sweet memory that has no place in the harsh light of reality?

Meera: *long pause* She tends to keep herself away from his goodbyes as she experiences an old familiar stirring, a growing restlessness that she dreads but recognizes only too well.

Krishna: Some things are best expressed via allegory, allusions or imagery. You speak in the language of images and words Meera. If people knew how to listen, they would understand what you have to say. That image was no random choice. It means something to you. It represents something to you. Maybe it is you. Maybe this tale is more than what it seems to be.

Meera: *deep silence*

-- By Shyam & Malvika.

    She blogs here.

For Conversations can be Poetry

Him:
      Epdi irukka ?

Her:
       I.
       Am.
       I read a lot.
       And have fewer conversations that I used to. But .. more quality.
       I am trying to embrace my aloneness.  
       Not give into any thing that will take away from who I am
       I brood.
       I ponder.
       I have changed.
       I am exceedingly detached
       And see through too many people to put on facades for their sakes

Him:
       You haven't changed that much
       The core is still the same you
       A little less fiery
       A little more balanced and at peace maybe
       But still overwhelmingly YOU
       I guess I know you well enough to say that

 Her:
       Is this a good thing or a bad thing
       Or just a means to a better end

 Him:
       Its just you being you
       And that is always good

 Him:
      I met someone. And while conversing with her, I understood a lot about myself.
      There are certain people who put you in your comfort zone
      To whom you can just be you.
      She is one of them.
      She thinks the way I do on a lot of things, maybe on a deeper level.
      While conversing I've gotten more in touch with who I am
      And all the order, all the prioritising is vanishing
      My mind has been thrown back to the questions I always used to ponder about . 
      Meaning.
      Identity.
      Purpose.
      Who am I truly ?
      What moves me ?
      What shapes me ?
      What I can I give the world ?
      Reading.
      Writing.
      Thoughts.
      Silence.
      Does it make sense?
      Does it remind you of our initial getting to know each other conversations?
Her:
      Yes.
      I think my life has been blessed to have many of those moments .
      Even if the people come and go .

Him:
      I was thinking along the same lines as well
      And people never really go
      A person whom youve touched that deeply
      You will never be a stranger to them
      You are not to me
      Even though its a year since we talked

 Her:
      That never happens
      But life happens.
      For sure
      So we wind and whirl away and occasionally meet
      Ever so often
      Or not.

This is not entirely mine. This has a co-writer who probably contributed more to this than I did.

Upheaval

Thrown out of my depth
I struggle
To stay afloat
And salvage what I can

Integrity and Relationships

I will not be one of those nameless faceless people buried under a avalanche of likes. I will not be yet another admirer although I do admire you. I will not be one of those people who would heap reams of praise upon you hoping for a smile, although a smile would really make my day. I will neither lie nor flatter, though that may seem the easy way to getting closer to you. I will not bend myself to the point of breaking although that would make me look like perfect guy material. I would love to go out of my way for you where I can though. I would never endorse something wrong that you did. I would never be partial in my opinions of who is in the right although that would make you love me more. I would never lie to you even though white lies and not so white ones may make my life so much easier. You see, as much as I love you, I love myself more. As much as I value you, I value my integrity, my beliefs, my ideals, my conviction, the things that make me who I am a lot more. I would love to possess you, if possess is the right word, but the price cannot be losing myself. My soul comes first. My spirit comes first. You however, run a close second. That is not a bad position to be in considering the competition :)

Everyone Leaves

I
Am
Alone
Only
Me

Who shall walk with me?
Who will come till the last?


I thought
About attachment
The pangs of seperation
The futility of all this

Who shall walk with me?
Who will come till the last?

I thought
My ever recurring thought
Of leaving everything behind

I thought
Of that diving strains
Of Bhaja Govindam
Of the Truth in those words


Who shall walk with me?
Who will come till the last?

Him
Me
My Karma

I prostrated
For the first time
I truly meant it.

Birthdays

A birthday wish is not only a wish for that one day , its a wish for the 364 more, its a wish for the rest of their lives to be beautiful. Its to show them how happy I am that someone so fascinating came into this world, and graced my life with their presence.

Or its a happy birthday sent on Facebook :D

What I Want in Life

1) Harley Davidson/Any beautiful bike like that
2) A woman Im happy with. Who makes my life exciting. A Woman whom I admire.
3) A beautiful place to live in. Airy ,minimalist,elegant place.
4) A libary of books I love. Nice copies. Money enough to buy what I want of those.
5) The company of people who make me rise above what I am. Who make me see new things,explore new horizons. Who are in love with life.
6) Excitement. Beauty. Joy . Wonder. Inspiration.
7) Poetry
8) Languages.Sanskrit. Hindi.Any other languages I fall in love with.LEarn to speak and enjoy conversing in them .
9) Meaning. THe purpose of it all. Something Id like to explore.
10) Travel across the globe. Meet new people,learn about new cultures. See mankind for the variety and diversity and uniqueness it has to offer.
11) TO constantly better myself intellectually emotionally and spiritually.
12) To have a beautiful home,surrounded by family.To get closer to my relatives and ultimately to my roots.
13) Grow a garden someday.
14) To stay in shape. Be one of those guys who can run a kilometer or two at fifty.
15) To grow organically from my roots. No aping,no imitation, no falsehood.