Battle Within

Every part of me shows it exists and that it is unused.Joints creak,muscles stiffen and my back groans.I refuse to listen.Ive heard enough whining the whole day.

Slowly,they fall into line , working in a seamless unison.One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Again.This comforting grove repeats endlessly.Tracks and sweatshirt stick to my body,like a second.Warmth rises . Only I exist. All alone ,face to face , with thoughts and emotions. Contemplation time. Time is measured the thump of foot on track.

Slowly strain and breathlessness intrude into my Sanctuary.I fight to keep them out,to keep my mind in leash,to preserve my Fortress of Tranquility. The intruders are relentless,each attack more probing,more violent.With every ounce of energy I have, i fight them away.I promise to go on for just fifty more counts and relax , adding another fifty when i reach there .The intruders finally give in.

But these are only pawns.The real enemy is the One within.When I'm tired of fighting,the Mind plays tricks. "Give up.Surely, YOU cant do it. You are nothing but mediocre." The greatest battle is the one with the Mind.
Sooner or later you give in. The mind pounds you into submission. Exhaustion and pain deal sucker blows. The rhythm fades and tranquility shatters. Paradise lost.

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SAGA part 1

I was evolving on a personal ,musical and spiritual level.My comprehension increased and I could see much more than what was apparent.I would sometimes get glimpses of the thought process of people when they spoke.I could often read expressions and sense emotions around me.

Instead of seeing reality as a fixed plane in which you exist and live confined to laws,i found that if you grasped its true nature, you could indeed influence it, change it ,modify it,evolve it.I did not see what is;I saw what could be.And by by seeing what could be,I was able to actualise it, make it happen,just as the actions of the giants in the past has shaped the reality we dwell in.

I could hope,I could imagine ,I could envision ;I saw that nothing was beyond me ,nothing was outside me;Everything was within  me ,everything was me.Everything was one grand unity which wore a plethora of masks  and costumes and believed  the illusion it had cast .With the power of my Will ,I could make men my pawns.

On this plane ,I found those who were not afraid to Think,to Do.They did not bend to societal pressure.They too saw society for what it was: a herd of humans  who do nothing but tread the trodden path ,even if the path was made  by mistake.Confident only in the security of knowing  that the person next to him is doing the same,the herd is content to meander.Its actions are dictated by influences which give it the comforting feel of the familiar,the illusion of safety.

To the Master who realises this Truth ,society becomes his tool.It is an obedient  slave which does all it is commanded to do ,as long as  the Master keeps feeding it the comforting  illusion of safety .The Will  must be stronger than the swirling directionless energy of the herd; stronger than other influences that act on society.The leader's power of motivation must be stronger than the lethargy and indifference of the herd.In short He  must be the Force dictating the movements.If so an entire generation  lends itself to His Will.

In  the Beginning was Thought.The Cosmos is the manifestation of  Thought.Time bends Space and Space bends Time .Will bends both Space and Time.

Of Silence and Emotions

A burst of violins.The shade of darkness grows deeper ,darker and soon seems to have a stifling form,oppressing and suffocating the people who indulge in Silence.Like a drug overdose Silence does more than what is expected from him.All seems lost with Silence gaining ground.Gathering all her will for one last assault,she manages to break Silence."Hi.Long time "she says.

His facial muscles seem to have forgotten how to expand and contract.His mind is blown.He does not know how to react."Hey there' he manages to gasp, his polished accent in tatters,ripped to shreds by the demon of Indecisiveness Darkness changes form from black to grey. It no longer has strength enough to maintain the stranglehold.

In despair They turn to Embarrassment.He insultingly gropes her cheeks turning them into delicate shades of baby pink and flits through cranium making them both explode with shame.But as each spots the blush on the other's cheek ,they burst into smiles.

"I should have kept my hands to myself"grumbles Embarrassment.You see,groping has the unfortunate side effect of loosening muscles.

Next is the turn of Memory.She flies through the air ,whizzing through eyes,opeining portals to the past,so that reality is a blur .As each scene from the past plays,Memory , wielding His flaming torch,lights a little anger here and a little resentment there.As fires spread ,their faces turn cold.The chill reaches freezing point as the flames spread further.But then the ice cracks and warmth manages to find its way in ;for the the flames spread and ignited fond recollections ,stroking the embers of passion and romance.

"So what have you been upto these days?.""......pretty much nothing"."......................loyola"."visscom in MOP ............."."yeah im actually learining the guitar"."cool!".

"Say why dont we go inside CCD than stand outside?Its way too bright outside.""Funny .It seemed all dark and gloomy a few minutes ago"They had to acknowledge defeat.Thus did they both conquer the demons of Darkness ,Indecision ,Embarrassment and Memory,in their quest to nirvana ,kaapi nirvana.

TO REMAIN THIS WAY,for ever and ever

I have a tale to tell.In the black void of my dreams,there filled an ethereal light ,so blinding ,so divine ,that it took my breath away. In the midst of the light,was an even whiter silhouette;embodiment of perfection ,wearing a raiment of myriad hues,each more alluring than the other,leading to the ultimate perfection:Her face.Words fail me now

And then she smiled at me.Joy burst forth all bounds and shattered my dream.You see, the mind can only take in so much beauty.I woke up drunk,my head swimming with the heady concoction of ecstasy that she produced.Could things get any better?" No way" I said.

But now, my love ,seeing you sleeping,snuggled in clean sheets;the rays of the sun ,twisting their way through the maze of glass ,to find their way to your face , forever resting in peace ,content just to fill your face with a luminescence before which even the halo of gods would pale.

And you ,you welcome the rays with a sweet smile ;a smile causing two little depressions to form on those tiny cheeks.The adjoining areas , a sweet pink;

Nothing can compare,to that blank innocent stare, as you stir and rise from the sheets ,like a phoenix from the embers,breaking into that dazzling smile,the one that lights the world. Ah! to think im the one whom you cast your eyes on,the first time in the morning,and thousands of times in the day .You are the world ,the paradise i dwelleth in;I hope never to lose it,for loss would mean more than Milton's blindness;It would mean a flight,a flight to the realms to which your soul flees;be it the seven gates and the gruesome dungeons of Hades or the Gates of Heaven to dwell in the Garden as Adam and Eve ;My senses soaked in the beauty of your gaze.

Still Marching On

this one is about how people live life as though in a trance,blindly going through everyday motions like zombies.this is their march
STILL MARCHING ON
there is nothing epic
in this puppets march
no saga to live
no legend to tell

despair in poverty
and emptiness in wealth
boredom in life
and a void in death

this we try to fill
but time never stands still

from one void to another
nothing left to live for

create your fantasy
choose your ecstasy

the void shall never fill
for time never stands still

squeezing the essence your soul
you go beyond control

what remains now is shadow and air
a phantom with a hollow stare

thus does another fall
but they do not care
they go marching on
to the gates of hell

MY PERSPECTIVE

I have the terrible malady of speaking my mind. I believe that ,however hard reality is ,you must face up to it. I believe that ,no matter what, you must never shy away from thinking. And I believe that ,as I believe in these things, most people just switch off their minds ,cause what I say makes sense and they don't want to face up to reality.
Their reason for doing so: "you think too much". I say “do you think it makes a difference whether you choose to see or not to see? can you remove the sun by just shutting your eyes? “.Or maybe reality is what you perceive it to be and most are quite happy with a candy floss reality where things are supposed to be rosy and bright and when sorrow comes you don’t even face up to it .Result: depression without knowing why. "Oh but the whole world is doing it”.” So you do it too even without using your head?. It is about using your head anyway.
When I was traveling in a bus, due to my extra long frame ,I was cramped for space. My mind goes like "every person above average in any way has to pay. Be it seats cramping you or taxes when rich or curfews when popular. The other side is, life gives these burdens only to people who have the courage to carry them, who achieve their goal and take the whole world along if needed.

That is how the world moves forward, because we stand on the shoulders of giants. Only that we try to stone them to our size. The burden you have is proportional to your ability. A Washington had the ability to bear the burden of building a nation .Some others can provide employment to few tens of people ,others can sustain their families and so on. So specific work, specific skills. specific level of endurance and character specific responsibility. Next time you shoulder responsibility remember it is given to you because you have the strength to bear it. Lend your shoulder.Be a man.