Marching through life

Marching through life
At every step of the way
Each and every day
I light a candle
To light the way

So looking behind
The past is seen
And looking ahead
Hope gleams

Marching resolutely onward
Knowing not when the path ends
Still trudging still moving forward
Till death for me sends

A Perfect Day

Wake up after a rare nine hour nap. Go to Avatar with friends. Hog at That's Y Food. Sleep for an hour. Play Shuttle. Go to Laughathon watch a good skit in proper English. Read Dorian Gray's last pages.Music on my Ipod. Off to sleep.

My day today :D Lovin it.

Waking at 4 A M, during Brahma Muhurta; bathing in freezing cold water; getting dreesed up in traditional attire- Veshti Mel Veshti et all; wearing the Sricharamam- line of red between lines of white, according to my Sampradaya; doing morning prayers and Sandyavandana, listening to suprabhatham, seeing throngs of people in Veshti and Madisar(saree) and unapologetic about it; paying respects to Acharya; walking to the temple, and having darshan in the august presence of the acharya;

Experienced this all atTirupathi .Now I can see how life would have been ,had I been born a few generations ago.And believe me,it its not that bad after all.

Age of Poetry

Toddler poetry
Beautiful word shapes,
Simple joys,
Of poetic license

The Power
To spurn grammar
To ignore punctuations

Awkward adolescence
Gangly growth
Big words
Here and there
Mauling rhyme

And slaughtering scheme
Exposed to masters;
Inadequacy seen

Teenage poetry
Hope flourishes
And Ideals sown
saga's spawned
And skills honed

"The world will change
Love will prevail"
says the hoping soul .

Ageing is seldom graceful
Dead weight of expectations
Faded Realms of fantasy
Reality crushing you

Grand vocabulary
Enchanting imagery
But nothing left to say
Inferi of literature

"The Pen can but pen
Nothing ever changes "
Despair and helplessness
Pound you to submission

The Pen falls
Through the air
And the Mind,
It Fades to black 

All that he ever could be,he was

What if  a person can be all that he/she ever wants to?What if all your dreams can be intertwined to be the one driving force of your existence?What if these would define who you are,be your  epitaph when you pass away,and linger on as your legacy?This what I'm thinking of right now.

I want to work for India,but I am not the kind of guy who can live in villages and serve.I like to write.I'd like to be an entrepreneur of some sort.Since I'm doing my Computer Science Engineering I'd like to make an impact there as well. I would love my life to be in the company of people who are not afraid to use their brains,who are comfortable with who they are,who do not tread the trodden path,"who go instead  where there is no path and leave behind a trail" . I would not want even an ounce of my potential to be unrealised. It must be said that "All he ever could be, he was"[my quote].

What it all came together like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle,everything integrating to one glorious whole.A mixture of inspiration,passion,the right company,creativity,logic and independence.What if dreams were for real?

Reality

Am I getting illusions of grandeur? Delusions of self importance? Face the facts old man. You are redundant in today's world . Sure,you were a mover and shaker in your prime, the world paid rapt attention to your every word,limelight hogged your every move.

Heads of government ate out of your hands. But now the mantle has passed. The legacy remains, not the power. It is the legend they pay respect to, it is but a show. You are but a figure head, the face of the cause, a cause which has surged ahead, leaving you behind, impotent vulnerable.


The strings have slipped from your hands, the puppets now dance to their own fiddle. What you have is, at the most, a respect for what was not for what is. Face up old man.Your values are outmoded;dead values. You are dead to them;like a Che in contemporary culture.

It's over.

Integrity

She refused cash
He refused to call
With a lamb's pride
She said go ahead
Man of integrity
He kept his word
Her little courage
Began to wither
Bravery to begging
Son please answer me
Sensing weakness
He steps up the demand
A shared account
She shudders

Squeezed mercilessly
Between love and integrity
Integrity which refuses
To destroy by caving in
For him she must be strong
She must prevent character suicide

This she knows
But her courage
Is that of a lamb

On seeing the knife
He brandishes
Threatening to stab
Her forevermore
Prometheus and the eagle

She caves in
Cash in hand
Black at heart
He dumps her

So long mother
What started with balance
Lost balance
Lost. 

Within

Declare me a lunatic
Straitjacket my cloth
Bury me deep
Within bowels of thought.

Llock me in
Free from sin
Never do I cease
Relentless beast within

Emotions are pawns
Free the king bound
Rethrone the kingdom of the mind
Throw open dungeons of the heart

How ever you deny
Im the reality within
For what is man
But beast beneath skin

I will occupy
Ii will help you die
I will run through you
Now i rule you too
Sad but true [:D]

The last stanza is Metallica I admit.Suited perfectly though.[:D]

On Fast Forward

I want life to be a blur of activity;one event followed by another,in such a way that I'm totally occupied.In other words life in Realtime.


And if Time ever slows down,when seconds seem like minutes and moments tend to eternity,I'd like it to be with close friends and family around . It has been that way so far since Amrita happened to me[:D],life revolving around fulcrums of college,cqc,movies ,music and badminton.

I'm content with this state of affairs,so much so ,that I'd like like to continue at this hectic pace.I do not want time to slow down when all alone,to be trapped within the confines of my own head.I do know ,that this cant go on forever, that sooner or later, I would find myself in the vacuum I so desperately wish to avoid.

Some people say that if you have a spotless mind you will be at peace with yourself.Wonder what guilt lies embedded in me.I guess I must devise ways to entertain myself;to find my ruling passion;above all to love my own company.After all its the only one that stays.

Looking for :The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

Colllege and stuff

Sorry for the long hiatus. The last two months, I’ve been living a typical college goers life;  watch a series  (House season 1&2) , catch up with a favorite sport (Badminton) , watch every decent movie that hits  town and download the ones that don’t ,  have a lot of unfinished novels , catch up with a band’s discography( Metallica\m/),  keep in touch with friends old and new and live the good life. Oh and I’ve been quizzing too. I’ve been religiously attending every meeting of The Coimbatore QuizCircle and participating in every quiz I can. I made the finals in the last two I attended, something I never dreamt of doing in the first year. One I missed the third by five points and the other I ended up with a minus fifteen. Two sides of the coin. You miss some and you mess some. :D

College has not been as bad as I thought .Yes the travel is almost two hours each day. But have an Ipod and learn to conk off on a bus, you wont even feel it. My poor senior wakes me up when I reach. Yes, the time left to you each day is short. But I get around that by sleeping late and sleeping on the bus. And I’ve been literally running to the bus stand each day.

The best thing about my college is, there is nothing to be learnt by rote. Compared to other colleges our record and assignments are nothing. I see arts people writing more than we do. Concepts rule. This actually suits me fine. The amount of work you put is entirely up to you. A few hours of effort before periodicals and I can manage thirties. But it does get tiring at times. At other times you get sick of it all. Then starts the countdown to the nearest holiday.

However good my college is, I can never survive without holidays in between to recharge my batteries. Only after a week of college do you truly realize the value of the precious twenty four or forty eight hours left to you. I try to optimise fun to the maximum. I wake up really late, read two paper, end to end, slowly sipping a glass of warm milk. Then comes House time. I watch an episode or two, then snuggle and catch up on the week’s sleep. However well you sleep on the bus, at the end of a week, you are bound to be tired. After waking up it’s one of Badminton/Movie/ CQC. Then comes novel time. I read a hundred or so pages of some book. Then I talk on the phone and go to sleep reluctantly, knowing the next day I’d be in college. I have managed to stay in contact with most of my friends and we make it a point to meet every week. I am truly thankful to God that the people who matter are still close to me.  Bonds are stronger than ever.

All in all I am totally happy with the way me life is now.

Music:                   Metallica

Movies:                 Sin City, Scent of a woman , Silence of the lambs, Frost Nixon, LOTR,

                             Dil Chata Hai, Godfather 1,2,3(I still cannot         believe that an actor as

                              amazing as Al Pacino can actually exist)  

           

Novels Unfinished: Shalimar the Clown, Sophie’s world,           Hitchhikers       Guide to the Galaxy  , Quantum, The Lost Symbol

Serial:                    House MD Season 1&2

Quizzing:                CQC meetings, Resilience and Krusade Finals

Life :                     Good

College:               Satisfactory 

Friends :              Still in good touch

THE SPEECH THAT NEVER WAS

First, the background story. In 11th grade, I saw a truly awful Republic Day speech being rehearsed. The same speech which has been used for seven odd years and,I suspect,will be used for seven more ,was dusted off the rack and touched up in a  bad way. Since I could not take it, I wrote an alternate speech and presented it to my English mam.It was not accepted  because it was deemed "too harsh".Here is the speech.

"Fellow countrymen ,it gives me great pleasure to address you on the 21,152nd day of our Republic. The presence of this august gathering, comprising of our Principal,our Vice principal ,staff and the torchbearers our  generation gives me added pleasure and joy.

Each year,it is a tradition to speak of our past glory,the gallant exploits of our freedom fighters and our country as a developing nation. How long are we to rest on our past laurels, content with the tag"developing nation"? The previous two generations have distinguished themselves by  freeing us from the shackles of oppression and  putting us on the path of socio-economic development. If  we rest on their laurels and fail to act, we will be remembered as the first generation,  post independence , to have not been of service to the nation.

As John F Kennedy, former president of The United States of America , once said "Ask not what your country can do for you.Ask instead,what you can do for your country." We have the bane of indifference. How does this bother me?" is the  first question asked . This must change. The  poison of pessimism coursing  through  our veins must be replaced with life giving Hope.

There is only so much a government can do in a democratic country. It can implement reforms, make broad changes. It is up to us to be discerning and dynamic.

Technology is the pride of our nation. This has to reach everyone in every part of the country. Village knowledge centers must be set up in every village in India. A large number of companies  have come forward to  back this ambitious venture. The Tatas ,proud owners of Corus  and the inventors of the nano, RIl , Microsoft and many more  have pledged their support.

May more things have to be done. Merely saying that one person cant change anything is  pure escapism. "The history of the world is the history of a few men who dared to have faith in themselves" said Swami Vivekananda. Those who examine history will find this to be true.

It was one man who inspired the non-violence movement; it was one man who founded the Indian National Army; it was one man who went to the west and proclaimed the glory of Vedanta;it was one man who founded our glorious institution which now has 125 centres around the world.

Let us have the courage to follow our dreams. Let us dare to hope. Most of all ,let us be proud of  our Motherland  and endeavour to be worthy of being an Indian.let us have a happy Republic Day.Thank you."

Battle Within

Every part of me shows it exists and that it is unused.Joints creak,muscles stiffen and my back groans.I refuse to listen.Ive heard enough whining the whole day.

Slowly,they fall into line , working in a seamless unison.One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Again.This comforting grove repeats endlessly.Tracks and sweatshirt stick to my body,like a second.Warmth rises . Only I exist. All alone ,face to face , with thoughts and emotions. Contemplation time. Time is measured the thump of foot on track.

Slowly strain and breathlessness intrude into my Sanctuary.I fight to keep them out,to keep my mind in leash,to preserve my Fortress of Tranquility. The intruders are relentless,each attack more probing,more violent.With every ounce of energy I have, i fight them away.I promise to go on for just fifty more counts and relax , adding another fifty when i reach there .The intruders finally give in.

But these are only pawns.The real enemy is the One within.When I'm tired of fighting,the Mind plays tricks. "Give up.Surely, YOU cant do it. You are nothing but mediocre." The greatest battle is the one with the Mind.
Sooner or later you give in. The mind pounds you into submission. Exhaustion and pain deal sucker blows. The rhythm fades and tranquility shatters. Paradise lost.

mera quiz

click here to check out my quiz

SAGA part 1

I was evolving on a personal ,musical and spiritual level.My comprehension increased and I could see much more than what was apparent.I would sometimes get glimpses of the thought process of people when they spoke.I could often read expressions and sense emotions around me.

Instead of seeing reality as a fixed plane in which you exist and live confined to laws,i found that if you grasped its true nature, you could indeed influence it, change it ,modify it,evolve it.I did not see what is;I saw what could be.And by by seeing what could be,I was able to actualise it, make it happen,just as the actions of the giants in the past has shaped the reality we dwell in.

I could hope,I could imagine ,I could envision ;I saw that nothing was beyond me ,nothing was outside me;Everything was within  me ,everything was me.Everything was one grand unity which wore a plethora of masks  and costumes and believed  the illusion it had cast .With the power of my Will ,I could make men my pawns.

On this plane ,I found those who were not afraid to Think,to Do.They did not bend to societal pressure.They too saw society for what it was: a herd of humans  who do nothing but tread the trodden path ,even if the path was made  by mistake.Confident only in the security of knowing  that the person next to him is doing the same,the herd is content to meander.Its actions are dictated by influences which give it the comforting feel of the familiar,the illusion of safety.

To the Master who realises this Truth ,society becomes his tool.It is an obedient  slave which does all it is commanded to do ,as long as  the Master keeps feeding it the comforting  illusion of safety .The Will  must be stronger than the swirling directionless energy of the herd; stronger than other influences that act on society.The leader's power of motivation must be stronger than the lethargy and indifference of the herd.In short He  must be the Force dictating the movements.If so an entire generation  lends itself to His Will.

In  the Beginning was Thought.The Cosmos is the manifestation of  Thought.Time bends Space and Space bends Time .Will bends both Space and Time.

Of Silence and Emotions

A burst of violins.The shade of darkness grows deeper ,darker and soon seems to have a stifling form,oppressing and suffocating the people who indulge in Silence.Like a drug overdose Silence does more than what is expected from him.All seems lost with Silence gaining ground.Gathering all her will for one last assault,she manages to break Silence."Hi.Long time "she says.

His facial muscles seem to have forgotten how to expand and contract.His mind is blown.He does not know how to react."Hey there' he manages to gasp, his polished accent in tatters,ripped to shreds by the demon of Indecisiveness Darkness changes form from black to grey. It no longer has strength enough to maintain the stranglehold.

In despair They turn to Embarrassment.He insultingly gropes her cheeks turning them into delicate shades of baby pink and flits through cranium making them both explode with shame.But as each spots the blush on the other's cheek ,they burst into smiles.

"I should have kept my hands to myself"grumbles Embarrassment.You see,groping has the unfortunate side effect of loosening muscles.

Next is the turn of Memory.She flies through the air ,whizzing through eyes,opeining portals to the past,so that reality is a blur .As each scene from the past plays,Memory , wielding His flaming torch,lights a little anger here and a little resentment there.As fires spread ,their faces turn cold.The chill reaches freezing point as the flames spread further.But then the ice cracks and warmth manages to find its way in ;for the the flames spread and ignited fond recollections ,stroking the embers of passion and romance.

"So what have you been upto these days?.""......pretty much nothing"."......................loyola"."visscom in MOP ............."."yeah im actually learining the guitar"."cool!".

"Say why dont we go inside CCD than stand outside?Its way too bright outside.""Funny .It seemed all dark and gloomy a few minutes ago"They had to acknowledge defeat.Thus did they both conquer the demons of Darkness ,Indecision ,Embarrassment and Memory,in their quest to nirvana ,kaapi nirvana.

TO REMAIN THIS WAY,for ever and ever

I have a tale to tell.In the black void of my dreams,there filled an ethereal light ,so blinding ,so divine ,that it took my breath away. In the midst of the light,was an even whiter silhouette;embodiment of perfection ,wearing a raiment of myriad hues,each more alluring than the other,leading to the ultimate perfection:Her face.Words fail me now

And then she smiled at me.Joy burst forth all bounds and shattered my dream.You see, the mind can only take in so much beauty.I woke up drunk,my head swimming with the heady concoction of ecstasy that she produced.Could things get any better?" No way" I said.

But now, my love ,seeing you sleeping,snuggled in clean sheets;the rays of the sun ,twisting their way through the maze of glass ,to find their way to your face , forever resting in peace ,content just to fill your face with a luminescence before which even the halo of gods would pale.

And you ,you welcome the rays with a sweet smile ;a smile causing two little depressions to form on those tiny cheeks.The adjoining areas , a sweet pink;

Nothing can compare,to that blank innocent stare, as you stir and rise from the sheets ,like a phoenix from the embers,breaking into that dazzling smile,the one that lights the world. Ah! to think im the one whom you cast your eyes on,the first time in the morning,and thousands of times in the day .You are the world ,the paradise i dwelleth in;I hope never to lose it,for loss would mean more than Milton's blindness;It would mean a flight,a flight to the realms to which your soul flees;be it the seven gates and the gruesome dungeons of Hades or the Gates of Heaven to dwell in the Garden as Adam and Eve ;My senses soaked in the beauty of your gaze.

Still Marching On

this one is about how people live life as though in a trance,blindly going through everyday motions like zombies.this is their march
STILL MARCHING ON
there is nothing epic
in this puppets march
no saga to live
no legend to tell

despair in poverty
and emptiness in wealth
boredom in life
and a void in death

this we try to fill
but time never stands still

from one void to another
nothing left to live for

create your fantasy
choose your ecstasy

the void shall never fill
for time never stands still

squeezing the essence your soul
you go beyond control

what remains now is shadow and air
a phantom with a hollow stare

thus does another fall
but they do not care
they go marching on
to the gates of hell

MY PERSPECTIVE

I have the terrible malady of speaking my mind. I believe that ,however hard reality is ,you must face up to it. I believe that ,no matter what, you must never shy away from thinking. And I believe that ,as I believe in these things, most people just switch off their minds ,cause what I say makes sense and they don't want to face up to reality.
Their reason for doing so: "you think too much". I say “do you think it makes a difference whether you choose to see or not to see? can you remove the sun by just shutting your eyes? “.Or maybe reality is what you perceive it to be and most are quite happy with a candy floss reality where things are supposed to be rosy and bright and when sorrow comes you don’t even face up to it .Result: depression without knowing why. "Oh but the whole world is doing it”.” So you do it too even without using your head?. It is about using your head anyway.
When I was traveling in a bus, due to my extra long frame ,I was cramped for space. My mind goes like "every person above average in any way has to pay. Be it seats cramping you or taxes when rich or curfews when popular. The other side is, life gives these burdens only to people who have the courage to carry them, who achieve their goal and take the whole world along if needed.

That is how the world moves forward, because we stand on the shoulders of giants. Only that we try to stone them to our size. The burden you have is proportional to your ability. A Washington had the ability to bear the burden of building a nation .Some others can provide employment to few tens of people ,others can sustain their families and so on. So specific work, specific skills. specific level of endurance and character specific responsibility. Next time you shoulder responsibility remember it is given to you because you have the strength to bear it. Lend your shoulder.Be a man.

IF TOMORROW COMES

this one is more in the line of a metal ballad.just experimenting.telll me how bad or good this one is
IF TOMORROW COMES
what will you do
when tomorrow comes
make it worth your while
or let it fly

what will you do?
when reality stares at you
do you hold the stare
or pretend not to care

what will you do
when you are pushed to the edge
will you tremble on looking down
or fight for lost ground

what will you do
when the spotlights on you
run the bloody show
or just ring hollow

the choice is truth or lies
i can see it in your eyes

dont succumb!
to evasion
intimidation
aversion
imitation

the choice:plain and simple
truth or lies
i know your answer now
the light dies in your your eyes

i have come too late
you are one of them now

WHY EXACTLY??

why??the essential question?
a multitude of answers
but the answer i seek is one
for in the answer is the One

why do we have a fluttering mind
thoughts flowing into one another?

why do we have conflict and discord?
barriers ,dividers separating one another

why do we feel insecure,unsure?
in presence of one "superior"?

why dont we stick to our convictions?
moving with the crowd ,hither and thither

why dont we bother to comprehend ,to learn?
thinking i have better work in life??

why do we procrastinate ,postpone??
that tomorrow tends to forever??

why do we get distracted
when we think on lines like these??


each question has answers separate
but the answer i seek is one
For the answer is the One

the answer lies in realizing we are one
life matter and everything in between

the answer lies in realising the One
the supreme existence ,form whence we came

the answer lies in being the One
for where there is no duality ,there cannot enter strife

the answer is One
filled with ananda
the very nature of the One

questions infinite but answer one

realising this we realise the One
merge with the One
become one

for
where are divides in unity?
can a single existence conflict with itself?
can there be a question of death?
can there be hate or sorrow?
when your very nature is verily
existence knowledge bliss

find the One
merge with the One
become One
for the answer is One

A FINE MORNING

on a fine sunny Sunday morning ,in a white marbled bathroom,two buckets could be seen. a yellow bucket and a green bucket.they were both filled with water and the green bucket had a yellow mug floating in it.above the buckets were two taps for the purpose of filling the buckets.still higher up the wall was a shower tube.the shower tube ended in a shower cap which was inclined at an angle to the rod.and below the shower cap stood shyam who is seriously wondering whether is descriptive skills are good enough :D

MOONWALKER

i do not claim to be the greatest fan of Michael Jackson.or that i have listened to each and every sound made by him. that does not mean he has not influenced me.the few songs ive listened to, have made a profound impact ,especially after i bothered to look up the lyrics. i never knew pop songs had such deep themes and meanings.

the tale of a tormented genius is not new to any of us.but this is one with a sad difference .he was the genius and we, the tormentors.

idol worship is fine;but idol hounding?do we tear a man apart just because he is supremely gifted and we love his work?anything Michael sells.but does that mean we malign and destroy him??that we publish things that make him look like a retard so tabloids can sell copies??

"an unnamed employee of never land ranch","a close confidante " ,"sources close to MJ" ,these are the excuses used to malign a person .none of the so called employees or confidantes or sources are named, cause there are none ,but those in the journalists perverted imagination.call that freedom of press.does freedom of press mean that magazines can destroy a man just to sell?.isnt "freedom to murder" more appropriate? the victim has no defense .sure,he may come out with a public statement saying that none of it is true and people are trying to malign him .but guess what the next days headline would be ."king of pop alleges a conspiracy against him"making him sound even more crazy.

he replies in the best way he can.his glorious music .

"Ain’t the pictures enough, why do you go through so much
To get the story you need, so you can bury me
You’ve got the people confused, you tell the stories you choose
You try to get me to lose the man I really am

You keep on stalking me, invading my privacy
won’t you just let me be
‘cause you cameras can’t control, the minds of those who know
That you’ll even sell your soul just to get a story sold"

but no response.so finally not being able to take any more he retires from public life and becomes a recluse on his sprawling ranch.and what happens?they find new charges.they allege him to be a paedophile because he has a theme park in his ranch and he spends time with children.oh god! what a crime it is to give other children what he could not experience as a kid.that must certainly be punished!!and voila scenting a free million dollar settlement, a kid pops up and allges that MJ harassed him sexually.then follows a suit of cases all alleging the same thing. free money is in the air.a man who made more money than any other solo recording artiste faced bancruptcy.none of the cases stood.but that slur on his name did. people associated michael jackson and paedophile.


im short we destroyed him.we systematically maligned and assasinated the greatest recording artiste of the generation .we hounded him like rabid dogs lusting after a victim.after cutting open the goose what can we expect ?golden eggs??the blame lies on all our shoulders.we let our icon down,we did not stand by him through times thick and thin.we just took the music and destriyed the soul who made it.we did it .we made the moon walker rest under dirt.

"Music has been my outlet, my gift to all of the lovers in this world. Through it, my music, I know I will live forever."
rest in peace michael wherever you are .you rocked my world man.words cant describe you what you gave us and what we did to you.

QUESTIONS

supreme power??origin of the universe??realisation??countless views have been put forward for and against these subjects.well here is an interesting perspective:

“Who knows for certain? Who shall here declare it?
Whence was it born, whence came creation?
The gods are later than this world’s formation;
Who then can know the origins of the world?
None knows whence creation arose;
And whether he has or has not made it;
He who surveys it from the lofty skies,
Only he knows- or perhaps he knows not."


oh BTW this is from the rig Veda.thought you people may like it anyway.

money ,money money

You buy a Porsche. You go to the skies thinking its the most awesome thing in the world and you just love it.The question is" why?". You may think im a fool to actually doubt why people like a Porsche .The vehicle has quality and it gives you value.But my question is "is it only the value the vehicle gives that makes you so happy?".Would you accord the same value to a different car ,which has equivalently good looks , performance and comes cheaper, sans the brand??
I dont think so.It is not only the quality of the thing you buy that gives you satisfation.It is also the brand which matters even though you may have to shell out more it.One of the reasons is what it conveys .The attitude it projects.My point is ,in any product ,it is not only the real value that matters .The value which you and the society attach to it matters a lot, much more than the real value at times.
Why attach so much value to objects you buy?.Are the objects valuable only because they are expensive??

I dont think so .The reason you" percieve " value in an object is because it is a symbol or greater things.It is the symbol of your effort .The effort you put in to gain something; effort which can be exchanged the fruit of another man's equal effort.Your money has value only beacause it is a symbol of your effort and skill.It is a measure of you if u want to use that scale to measure yourself .The effort u put in gives the satisfaction during its realisation .
so my point is
the reason we get satisfaction when we buy objects are
1)the product by itself
2) your effort and skill which went in to obtain it
So the people who get the most of buying a thing are those who can lay claim to both these.in other words those who earn it and then buy it.Those who dont earn their cash just get half the satisfaction.Why take half instead of one?
So which one is it ?? A fantasy billon dollarempire as inheritance or being the one who actualy establishes the empire.
in a simpler way half or one?

p.s please tell me if im boring you

alive and kicking

sorry that i have not posted in a long time.that is because all i have to talk about in my hols is boredom boredom and more boredom.oh did i mention boredom?:p see that's what my head has been like for quite a while and i did not feel like dumping that on you guys.if anyone knows any way of passing time in the remaining two months of my hols PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!im desperate.and i posted this to tell you that this blog is not going the way of countless millions who abandoned it after sometime .ill keep it running and hopefully get it back to its previous state.and im alive and kicking everything i can see .will keep posting .

figure it

A cough racks my throat
phlegm going neither in nor out
waiting for sleep to come
for dreams to caress
for burdens to lay down
but she eludes me,the temptress
kisses me with a yawn
then brushes me aside with a song

songs...the ipod plays on
artists chosen ,tracks played
id rather music than nothingness
emotion rather than a void
life to indifference

indifference....unable to look forward
what will tomorrow be
but what these 2 months have been
what for that matter
will the two months ahead be
now thats a thought to ponder
fills me with joy and wonder

fluctuating moods changing emotions
tats what youd call adolescence
well im 18 now
right at the fag end of it
noting each thought every mood
trying not to be a moralist or prude

this may be a sick kid's rabid scream
or a young mans wandering dreams
but the blog is mine and shall be mine
and i decide to post this time
:|

Atlantis

Ive let my mind rot
In the muck of dead dumbness
Forcing inspiration to fly
Letting imagination die
Traded light for dark
Lost the spark

FRIENDSHIP

Disclaimer:this is utterly copied and pasted from the blog "THE INFINITY" which i seriously recommend .so here it is :
background information :
the author of the blog is finishing his final year and is about to write his last set of exams.this is his tribute to his friend.

TILL WE MEET AGAIN:

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

-- Gilda Radner

A day to go before I start off with my finally final exams of the final year...

and then, (in all probability) I'll be an engineer.

[OMG! what rhyme man...]

It's been four long years... and yet, when i look back, feels like just, yesterday. For the umpteenth time on my blog, and probably the last, I reiterate - "I hate my college." I hate the place, I hate the climate and I hate most if not all the people, I met (or not). In short, I hate everything that is there to be hated and everything that there isn't.

But, this isn't about hate you know... This is about thanking people who made this journey - an experience of a life time. People whom I grew up with (at least I'd like to believe that) people who taught me so much in so little a time that I have problem storing the treasure (And that doesn't really include the teachers... Most (I say most and not all) of them were nothing but pretentious jokers who came nowhere close to being fit for the noble profession. And above all, it's about Friends.

Now, you keep getting on terms of good friends, better friends and best friends with your friends, but all the same, they remain friends.

People, whom you could tell something at some point of time that you didn't feel like telling anyone else in the world. Faces that came to your mind first, when things gave the slightest hint of going awry. The certain someone you could share a drink or two with and still be at ease. Someone you could make fun of and rest assured you didn't have to ask if it was going overboard. The blackmailer, you could share your dreams and fantasies and of course crushes with. That certain someone you wouldn't wait for a second to call up before you broke news about the latest in your life. The names you looked for, first up, when signing into chat. And yes, someone you could count on to get you through your exams, when the day arrived, by hook, or by crook.

A few of my friends tell me I write long, too long. Their curse! I'm not getting more words to fill up this post with...

So I'd do probably what's the best thing to do in such circumstances... leave you with a song and some memories. I heard some people in my college say that the official college farewell documentary didn't make them cry. Ridiculous! Go watch the numerous other things that can make you cry, sweet memories are things to be cherished and smiled upon, if you think otherwise... go get a life!

On a parting note,

A sunbeam to warm you,
A moonbeam to charm you,
A sheltering angel, so nothing can harm you.

Good Bye, Good Luck and errr... Good Riddance!

Listening to: Are We The Waiting, American Idiot, Greenday


Dedicated to: Friends and Friendship, yeah! Just that...

BRAVE NEW WORLD

i have always read books as far as my memory stretches.the earliest one was HEIDI.god the trouble i had trying to get that one!seems funny in retrospect.you would literally go ROTFL on seeing me read a book. a typical scene is me lying on my bed curled up in fetal position,head propped up by a few pillows and eyes boring into fine print in a yellowed musty book. dont bother calling me or speaking to me.when i am into a book everything else is non existent. i read and go into another world altogether.i cant feel my eyes reading sentences or see words on paper or my mind trying to make sense of it.to me it is like a reality unfolding each minute.i live it intensely too. i laugh with a book cry with it and totally surrender to it.

BORED RANDOM CRAP

I AM BORED!!!!feels so nice to scream it out.here i am waiting for my friend to turn up,waiting to go out and roam around and get something to eat while at it .here i am waiting for the past one hour to get on with it.i tunes is a big help at these times ,selecting beautiful songs to keep me upbeat.by the way "shadow of the day" by linkin park is good.and i read all the blogs i can.atulaa's post on women's rights is a nice read.i actually seem to agree with most of that,though some of it is just juvenile attitude , like the not wearing a wedding ring and all.yeah atulaa, that IS funny.metal is a great genre to hear ,when you are bored and jobless.pumps you up.heard ride the lightning by metallica .loved the whole album.and IM READING FOUNTAINHEAD!yeah ive told that just about everywhere else ,why not here too??and talking of fountainhead here is the story of shyam k who struggled to get his own copy of that precious novel.i beg all my friends to give me a copy,post it on facebook ,resort to desperate measures and finally lay my hands on a copy .i look like a cat with cream with a wide grin on my face.i curl up on my bed and begin to read [yes that is how i read],all happy the world seeming so nice and all.after about 150 pages i take a small break ,turn and see the other side.there is my mom ,with a book in hand with a bigger grin on her face,the kind she gives when we have these fights of who is more sarcastic and all.im puzzled ,knowing she does that only when she has something over me,but not what she has this time.then i glance at her book and voila!!its FOUNTAINHEAD!!im indigant and ask her why she didnt bother to give me when i was tearing my hair for it and she sweetly replies saying"you never asked".apparently a present for me which she forgot to give aama.so now we lie next to each other,staring at opposite sides reading the same edition of the same novel!!

THE RAT AND THE BUG

ive always thought poems are built on emotions.ive seen ones on love,friendship,trust,sadness,etc.all serious emotions ;nothing to tickle your funny bone.i had a thought: why not write a funny poem.so here goes.

my god ,you must see her
the lady with nicknames galore
any name suits her just fine
irritating her to the core



tell her this and she blows steam
13 year old kiddo, cat with cream

call her a bug
and she wont reply
ive never bothered
to ask her why

call her a bug
and she pucks up her nose
the yelling gathers steam
what a tantrum she throws!

i call her a buggy now
yet,no reaction ,not a response

i say:
"ive added an extra y
aso now you gotta reply"

she retorts:
"damn you for this and damn you for that
you irritating little rat!"

"so i get a name now?"
sarcasm oozing in my tone.

"yeah you do
and suits you too"

and so we stand now
a rat and a bug
the argument resolved
and problem solved!"

A TRAIN TRAVELOGUE

a train journey from coimbatore to chennai.was smsing to pass time.and suddenly a message turns out to be this poem.so here it is:
A TRAIN TRAVELOGUE:
staring at the tracks
hearing the whistle of the train
the rustling of wheel on track
the chattering of the inmates

landscapes whizz by
one fading into another
dark silhouettes lit
by moon and streetlamps

passing a station now
not a soul to be seen
thought of hauntings,
and michael jackson's "thriller"

rail follows river now
vilage road on the bank
empty fields to the eye's gaze
a bike breaking the scene

train crosses train now
a roar
a rush
a flash of light
the whole thing gone

all alone on a berth,
you wonder;

the urge to break fee
to rid oneself of shackles
grows
stronger and stronger

like a second Che,
exploring the land of the tamils
i feel boundless freedom
nothing to care about

a journey of discovery
a journey inside
truckloads of questions
not an answer in sight
my mind is a mess now
thoughts flitting in and out
they go like:
" whats inside me ?
who/what am i?
where do i belong ?
what is my time for ?
the stations to be crossed
where im gonna reach
what should i carry with me"

the train has come to a halt now,
and so must this meandering mind of mine

A LE TTER TO MY FRIEND

i know you for long enough to cut the formality bullshit and to get on with what i want to tell you.
this i i have to tell you.it is too complicated a thing to explain in person and there a good chance that ill forget half of what i want to convey and get totally engrossed in pulling your leg.so i resort to what i do best :writing.what better than a letter to convey what i want to ?so here goes.

most of the time people cant find the company they want,the company that can sense who you really are and give you the motivation and the room to grow;friends who know you even when you dont know yourself.that is not given for most of us.
so we settle for the next best thing : a group of people whom you think you can adapt to or suitably hide yourself to suit their attitude.the human desire for company overwhelms the need to be yourself.that is the scenario which many of us find ourselves in.there are two kinds of people in this
1 you always hide under a shell and finally forget who you really are .when you show your own attitude by accident, you are mocked at or made fun of.you get shy of what you really are .you begin to think that what the group does is the way to be.you actively try to imitate them and end up being dissatisfied because that is not what you really are.a dialogue goes like this in oceans 13,"the moment you become ashamed of who you really are you lose yourself".this is what happens when you try to fit in.

2 the really determined person will hang out with a group he does not fit in with,fully knowing that it is because only because he has no choice.so he /she never tries to fit in beyond a point and just becomes silent when he disagrees with something.he\she thinks that he\she is unaffected by the attitude of others and that in essence he\she remains the same as ever.but the fact is, however much you try not to ,you change according to the company you keep.this happens at a sub conscious level.you slowly change while you still believe yourself to be the same.the change continues without you realising it happening.revelation dawns on you only when you end up doing something u never imagined yourself to be capable of doing.you feel totally bitter about yourself. you think back and feel you have screwed up badly.all that you ever expected of yourself is is ash.the events of the past flash across the minds eye.the only difference is, this time, you can see cleary how ,bit by little bit,you changed at each step.your mouth fills up with bile and you feel like slapping your face hard;only that it would not help in the least.bitterness courses through your veins.you want to go back and change things but your conscience taunts you saying you cant.that is the worst feeling in the world;that you have screwed yourself without even knowing it .
from what i know about you you seem to be in the second category.george clooney 's father gave him only one piece of advice"son,whatever you do,dont wake up one morning at 60 years and ask "what have i done with my life?" '

this is a long letter, i know.but if it make you take a look at what is inside you,what is the real you and how much it is blurred by the people around you ,then the effort is worth it .just remember that you can never undo what you have done.people may forget it but you never can.and no bloody amount of repenting would help ease the hatred of yourself which would engulf you.think . use your brain atleast once .
you know whom

WHAT YOU WILL YOU WILL

okay these were the ideas that formed in my mind from a series of conversations with my friends today.i learnt today that will power in truly a great marvel.no one has a weak will.it is just the way it manifests.some people tend to use it consciously to reach their goals or to achieve great things.in others it lurks in the subconscious.these people may appear to be weak and jump from one thing to another.but one thing is for sure. when a person wants to do something no one in this world can stop him/her from it.this applies not only to goals and ambition and stuff but to mundane things like meeting an old friend or something .what do you think a person who constantly flunked his exams till December to get the school first in the board exams the coming march?.believe me i have seen my friend do it.all it took was a sharp word.that is the kind of dormant power latent in us.by latent i mean in the subconscious.it takes a great ambition or anger or a desperate situation to bring out the best in you.you just cant give your best without any reason or purpose.so the challenge lies in not cultivating will power cos we all have it in truckloads ,but in realising how to use what we already posses; to tap into the infinite potential we have.the world is how you project it .you visualise and then set out to make it come true.an easy example is when you learn a new cricket shot.you play it a million times in your mind before you actually execute it.the power for the execution comes from the visualisation .the more intense it is the more will be the will power you can tap.this is why people say the world is a projection of your thought.if you dont have a fixed desire to work for ,the will power you have will just scatter of manifest in subconscious ways.you just cant lock up energy and do nothing with it.and as far as advising a person is concerned ,my opinion now is to never do it unless in dire circumstances.most people come for help with a fixed course of action to take and will go ahead with it inspite of what you say.this opinion is not usually in the conscious it stays in the subconscious at most times.you have an urge to do something but u are unsure of what to do.you ask for help but sill you go by the urge.a better course of action would be to see where this desire comes from what is the cause.analyse that and 99 times out of 100 you wont need to ask another person for help.whew!!there ends my monologue on what i learnt today..

unbelievable

here i am thinking about what im gonna do with ma blog ..thinking that people have lost interest in this and how im gonna take it forward and bam!i get my own poem in a message from my friend..i ask this lady who sent this to her and she says it is an sms forward from her friend...so yeah my poem is doing the rounds as an sms forward...but i do wish they put my name on it though....and by the way the poem is "dance of destruction"...so yeah that made my day...

here is a list of things you ought to know about shyam

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Shyamk!

1. Oranges, lemons, watermelons, pineapples and shyamk are all berries.
2. Shyamk was declared extinct in 1902.
3. Ancient Greeks believed earthquakes were caused by shyamk fighting underground.
4. Shyamk is the only metal that is liquid at room temperature.
5. Never store shyamk at room temperature!
6. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by shyamk.
7. White chocolate isn't technically chocolate, because it doesn't contain shyamk.
8. Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Shyamk', hated shyamk and only wrote the book at her publisher's request!
9. The shyamk-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand shyamk-fights take place there every day.
10. Shyamk is the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards.
    
11. in case of being dazed check out this site which promises to be rarely accurate
    

shyam's cafe

A place to hang out ,spend time;just time, in the company of friends or with that special someone; a place where you dont have to be bothered about what the person sitting in the next table thinks;where the service does not push you to order, pay the bill or vacate.welcome to SHYAM's CAFE, opening in the near future.a place about twice as large as atmos ;in a serene corner of the city;elegant, uncluttered,where time stands still and cheer fills the air.my place will not have walls of concrete-seen enuf of those already.neon lighting and flashiness is a strict no no.you walk in to see ferns and shrubs on either side of a stone pathway.a tiny waterfall and a few tables for those who love the night air.walk a bit further and you see walls of bamboo like in a forest resort.in you come to find a huge ornamental fern tree in the centre surrounded by creepers and vines.a dash of soft lighting at the bottom to complete the picture.the place is diamond shaped with 8*8 feet cabins surrouding the centre.each cabin is detached from the world with a small window to peer outside at the greenery.soft leather sofas,a polished rosewood table with red napkins on it ,a lamp hanging from the top.the customer can adjust the lighting to his wish.each cabin has a small shelf with a few novels,magazines and few cofee table books.another shelf has scrabble chess and cards.you have an intercom to call service as and when you wish.a dash of soft music maybe.john denver in the afternoon ,soft rock in the evening and lionel ritchie at night.the volume is low enough to allow easy conversations but high enough for poeple to enjoy.it melts as a part of the ambience.the menu is mostly juices ,latte's ,shakes ,mocktails and cofees with salads and snacks for good measure.the pricing is on the higher side but so is the experience.to those who share my idea of a great time with friends or with a special someone,with no one staring at what you do,no worries of the outside world,where time together is worth more than fast music and noise of chattering crowds i say "Welcome to SHYAM'S CAFE"

belief??

what is religion exactly ??and where does it figure in terms of individual or in terms of society?and who defines a re;religion like Hinduism??
religion you can say is belief in god.but does it mean that we have to forget rationalism and blindly believe?does religion teach us to be blind believing fools of what a person says without even seeing the person who said it?[like a Buddha?]so obviously when rationalism comes into play you can only believe something for which proof exists.how do you prove something which exists on the spiritual plane and not on the material?the answer sages give is that the proof is in the seeing and experiencing .Vivekananda as young naren was curious about spirituality and he went to different men and women who preached and listened to their discourese.then at the end of each discourse he asked the person concerned "have you seen god?'.the natural reply was no.he walked away dissappointed because he felt that only those who had seen god can lead him to god.when he met ramakrishna paramahamsa and asked the same question ramakrishna replied"my child i see him just as i see you only in a much intenser state".vivekananda asked him if it was possible for him to see god too.ramakrishna repliesd that "i will teach you".history records what vivekananda achieved . science has a proof for every conclusion it draws.itsays that we move from an established fixed principle and logically derive results which serve as proof to a new theory.the other way is performing an experiment according to steps given will give proof for a theory.religion emplyoys the same methods.either they rationally start by saying why the body cannot function on its ownand lead it to the logical conclusion of a god and a soul or they ask a person to follow certain instructions to the letter for a certain period to get the proof i.e realisation.
as to where religion figures in a society tommorrow ppl

i read a blog today which went on about India's abject caste religious and communal divides.this forces me to write one of my rare textual posts .i just could not disagree more with the tone which most people take saying "where is the hope for our nation if we are so hopelessly divided?"i say even if so called rational and balanced people like you dont have hope ,then who else will??and hoe dare you criticise someone when you have the same hopeless attitude yourself??and this is what i say as an indian who believes in the destiny and future of india.!yeah all these exist no doubt but the very fact that we have been able to survive as a nation shows that we still have a something which rides across all caste barriers, a something which transcends religion ,which overpowers racism and forces us to remain united ...call it the destiny of the nation ,or the collective soul of a billion ,india does exist and stands untied at times of national crisis .when chaos and destruction beckon, we stand up as one with spine straight and head held high....case in point kargil and the recent terror attacks....yes we do have bigotry but that is only on the surface ..unravel the veil and u find a collective united soul of a nation....this may be overtly optimistic but that is the way i see it....[sorry to my friend whose blog i happened to read today]

i got this article in times of india newspaper.....mind blowing stuff...the possibilities

THE UNIVERSE IN YOU

MOST of us think of a hologram — the little thingies on credit cards, product packaging tags, etc — as just a high tech-three-dimensional image which is very difficult to tamper with. However, there’s another extremely interesting property of holograms too: their entirety can be reconstructed from an arbitrarily small part. That is, if a hologram of a face is cut in half, each half contains all the information to make another — though smaller — image of the complete face. The same holds true even if the face is cut into a thousand pieces. In fact, a hologram is like a window with hundreds of panes; one can look at the same outside scene when it’s fully open or through any one of its panes when it’s closed. Every part of it contains all the information possessed by the whole.
Michael Talbot puts this in a different perspective in his book The Holographic Universe: The “whole in every part” nature of a hologram, he says, provides us with an entirely new way of understanding organisation and order. For most of its history, western science has laboured under the bias that the best way to understand a physical phenomenon, whether a frog or an atom, is to dissect it and study its respective parts. A hologram teaches us that some things in the universe may not lend themselves to this approach. If we try to take apart something constructed holographically, we will not get the pieces of which it is made, we will only get smaller wholes.
Some people have used this argument to explain the curious quantum physics observation that under certain circumstances, so-called “entangled” subatomic particles which were once together at some point of time, are able to remain in intimate and instant contact with each other even if they happen to be light years apart later. The reason is not that they’re sending some sort of faster than light signals back and forth between them but because their separateness is in itself a false impression. At a fundamental level each is only an extension of everything it’s embedded or immersed in — or vice versa.
This leads to a startling but staring-us-in-the-face conclusion that in reality there are no pieces that make up a whole because nothing exists which is not comprehensive by itself. Parts of things — like carburettors of cars or pancreas of people — are not unfinished business. Meaning, just like the universe harbours every one, each of us harbours a universe within ourselves too.

this one is about the moment of the big bang or creation if you please...about how a single consciousness realizes its split into many....slight religious undertones to it

THE SPLENDOR OF A THOUSAND SUNS
Vast immeasurable oceans of space
Dark and empty to the farthest gaze

There is neither Light nor Dark
Night nor Day
the clock does not tick
the bell does not toll

Time has no meaning here
Nor does Space
All that exists here is Consciousness
An awareness ,with neither form nor face

Emotions are yet to be born
Creation yet to occur

A small minute speck of light
A golden Orb of the whitest white
Neither within nor outside
Pulsating , glowing;

Throbbing with power unfathomable
The splendour of a thousand suns!!!oh Hiranyagarbha!!!

The Sphere begins to grow
Swallowing and engulfing Nothingness

Then Division is Willed
Galaxies and stars are born
Numbers too vast to count

I becomes WE
ONE torn to many
The same yet unique

Still the Orb remains
Its aura undiminished
Its nature unchanged


What is Whole is Whole
What is Whole will forever be Whole
Any pert from the Whole is the Whole
And does in no way diminish the Whole

tThe Ethereal enters the Gross
Self regulating self sustained by a set of laws
Thus is the mighty stage set
To feature the Play of plays

Where truth is hidden beneath the veil
And each one's a stringed puppet

Twisted one way then the other
By whims of faceless Fate
Striving and yearning
Yearning to gleam
The reality behind the facade

BACK AFTER A LONG TIME!!!here is a poem ;straight from the depths of my heart:
OH SWAMI!!
SAFFRON ROBES'
A SWEET SMILE
A HALO OF HAIR
FACE FAIR

EYES ALIGHT
TEJAS BRIGHT
OH SWAMI!!
WHAT A SIGHT !!
WHAT A SIGHT!!

THY KINGDOM COME
THY WILL BE DONE


YOUR MAJESTY GROWS
AND THE WORLD WILL KNOW
THAT THE SAVIOUR HAS COME
TO LEAD US HOME

FROM DARKNESS TO LIGHT
THE KINGDOM OF PUREST WHITE

REDEMPTION HAS COME
YOU HEAR THE KNOCK!!
ALL WE ARE TO DO
IS OPEN THE LOCK!