A LE TTER TO MY FRIEND

i know you for long enough to cut the formality bullshit and to get on with what i want to tell you.
this i i have to tell you.it is too complicated a thing to explain in person and there a good chance that ill forget half of what i want to convey and get totally engrossed in pulling your leg.so i resort to what i do best :writing.what better than a letter to convey what i want to ?so here goes.

most of the time people cant find the company they want,the company that can sense who you really are and give you the motivation and the room to grow;friends who know you even when you dont know yourself.that is not given for most of us.
so we settle for the next best thing : a group of people whom you think you can adapt to or suitably hide yourself to suit their attitude.the human desire for company overwhelms the need to be yourself.that is the scenario which many of us find ourselves in.there are two kinds of people in this
1 you always hide under a shell and finally forget who you really are .when you show your own attitude by accident, you are mocked at or made fun of.you get shy of what you really are .you begin to think that what the group does is the way to be.you actively try to imitate them and end up being dissatisfied because that is not what you really are.a dialogue goes like this in oceans 13,"the moment you become ashamed of who you really are you lose yourself".this is what happens when you try to fit in.

2 the really determined person will hang out with a group he does not fit in with,fully knowing that it is because only because he has no choice.so he /she never tries to fit in beyond a point and just becomes silent when he disagrees with something.he\she thinks that he\she is unaffected by the attitude of others and that in essence he\she remains the same as ever.but the fact is, however much you try not to ,you change according to the company you keep.this happens at a sub conscious level.you slowly change while you still believe yourself to be the same.the change continues without you realising it happening.revelation dawns on you only when you end up doing something u never imagined yourself to be capable of doing.you feel totally bitter about yourself. you think back and feel you have screwed up badly.all that you ever expected of yourself is is ash.the events of the past flash across the minds eye.the only difference is, this time, you can see cleary how ,bit by little bit,you changed at each step.your mouth fills up with bile and you feel like slapping your face hard;only that it would not help in the least.bitterness courses through your veins.you want to go back and change things but your conscience taunts you saying you cant.that is the worst feeling in the world;that you have screwed yourself without even knowing it .
from what i know about you you seem to be in the second category.george clooney 's father gave him only one piece of advice"son,whatever you do,dont wake up one morning at 60 years and ask "what have i done with my life?" '

this is a long letter, i know.but if it make you take a look at what is inside you,what is the real you and how much it is blurred by the people around you ,then the effort is worth it .just remember that you can never undo what you have done.people may forget it but you never can.and no bloody amount of repenting would help ease the hatred of yourself which would engulf you.think . use your brain atleast once .
you know whom